Yesterday, I was invited to an IT industry dinner to meet professionals from across South Asia and South East Asia. The visitors were part of an Asia-Oceania Association that represents companies collectively worth 200 billion dollars, or something like that.

Nasreen Jalil, our “Honourable” City Naib Nazim, addressed the group. Highlights from her speech:

1. Karachi is a progressive, modern city and a haven for investors.
2. Several new underpasses and overpasses are being built.
3. 400 new cars join the humming flow of traffic each day.
4. A state-of-the-art IT Tower is being constructed. Its claim to fame: tallest building in the region.
5. Although bombs explode every so often, such as the one in Nishtar Park, the citizens of Karachi are amazing and pick up bodies and take them to the hospital without burning buses along the way.
6. The Sindh IT Minister is an IT Buff.
7. Karachi is virgin territory so the CEOs of these companies worth 200 billion dollars should come and do stuff here.

Point 7 provoked the Head of the Association to remark that this Virgin territory could do with ConDoms that would result in Productivity. Con = Confidence and Dom = Domination.

Ewwww! Whatever …

I am a thoroughbred Karachiite and couldn’t survive for a second in any other city of Pakistan. I was born here, grew up here, and totally love the throb and the vibe of Karachi. However, I am not delusional. Our city of “lights” is filthy, smelly, and ugly. It is controlled by mafias of every size, shape, and agenda. It is full of potholes and ditches and is growing wildly in every direction, without any urban planning. The IT and Business revolutions are being powered by generators and diesel, not KESC supplied electricity that we pay for. Read: extortion. Every day, 40 cars and 29 cellphones are stolen. Et-cetera.

I care deeply about this city, not because I am patriotic or nationalistic, but simply because I live here and so do 15 million other people. I find it unbearable that our smug politicians and business people deem progress to be the building of another fucking IT Tower that will be taller than any other in the region. HOW IS THIS IMPORTANT OR RELEVANT? I am thrilled that Wateen Telecom is building a nationwide WiMax network. That’s progress. They are a private firm. The fucking Government, instead of printing full-page ads in the newspaper about General Musharraf’s fantastic reign of power, needs to give us clean water, electricity, and the assurance that we will not have our brains blown out by bombs whenever we step out of our homes. KESC: if you can’t give us any electricity because WAPDA cuts off supplies, and because you can’t control the zillion illegal connections, and because hi-tension lines snap every 30 seconds, then don’t charge us until you can get your act together. And give us a goddamn plan. What exactly is wrong and when exactly will you fix it? And spare us the PR bullshit.

None of this is new and I sound like a broken record. I will be accused of complaining and not doing anything about all this. I have stuck it out in this city for 32 years – i.e. all my life. When I wanted to run away, Dr. Eqbal Ahmed said, don’t go. This place needs people who care and who will change things. So I stayed. And tried. Every damn day, every waking moment. And now, the lifeblood is leaking out of me. Yes, “Impossible is Nothing” but really, it is now Impossibler to make any real difference when you are a total misfit. I am tortured by two things: the Government and Big Business – and of course, both are inextricably linked. Now I am rambling … and I have a headache because there is no electricity and I have deadlines.

More later …

Image A: My Nani, aged 30, at a fancy dress party in Dhaka.
Image B: My Nani, aged 30, a week later, at a regular party in Dhaka.

Nani used some of my mother’s hair for her mustache and beard for the paan vaala costume. She won the first prize at the fancy dress party.

Schon Circle gets weirder by the day. What on earth is this hideousity?

Does our City Nazim get a bonus each time a new monstrosity is unveiled?

Destination: Colombo
Dates: 15th June – 18th June, 2006
Agenda: Drik Partnership Meeting

Day 1

My flight to Colombo was at 11:45 pm on the night of the 14th. I was knackered well before departure as I’d had painfully long, manic, and intense days at the office for the last several days. The flight was rather uncomfortable as the seats wouldn’t budge and we had to sit at a 90 degree angle throughout. They wouldn’t even let us off the plane to breathe in any Indian air during our 2.5 hour stop-over in Mumbai. However, the crew was phenomenally efficient and polite and the wine was great. The other amazing thing about Sri Lankan Airlines is that they don’t say we’re delighted to have you on board in 18 different languages. They also don’t tell you where the emergency exits are and how to fasten your seatbelt in 18 different languages. And, and, they do not tell you, in any language, that we will be flying at an altitude of 32,000 feet!

We landed in Colombo at 7:00 am instead of the scheduled arrival time of 5:45 am and we were zonked. The taxi driver was relentless in his desire to get us to the hotel in 45 minutes and honked and zoomed his way through countless little alleyways caring little for anything that might get in the way. We were too exhausted to care. After checking in, we had 30 minutes to shower and grab a bite. The meeting was to start at 9:00 am and we’d been up for 28 hours straight.

The Drik Partnership brings together media organizations from Afghanistan, Bangladesh, India, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka and is funded by the Norwegian organization, Fredskorpset. The Partnership aims to create a strong media presence in the South, develop professionalism within the industry, and work towards building transparency and accountability within society. Through the exchange of professionals for a period of 10 months, the Partnership creates mutual learning opportunities and helps build capacity and sustainability of the participating organizations. Whew – what a mouthful! So, b.i.t.s. is the Pakistani partner and that’s why I was in Colombo, along with our accountant, Mashood Ali.

Checked in by 8:00 am, dumped stuff, ate breakfast, showered, and was in the conference room by 9:00 am for the first day of the meeting. After the usual round of greetings and exchange of gifts, we got down to work. The meeting was organized by our Sri Lankan partners, TVEAP (Television for Education, Asia Pacific) and their CEO, Nalaka Gunawardene, spoke for a bit. Activist and producer/director, and all-round great guy! Anyway, the meeting went on and on and on and finally ended at 5:30 pm. We then got into a big bus and headed off for the TVEAP office. The trees and greenery in Colombo are astounding. Some of the trees were so beautiful they made me cry. I was also rather pained at nature’s inequitable distribution of environmental resources. The TVEAP office was lovely. A year ago, they bought a run-down house and re-did it, with each team member getting a space to plan, build, and decorate.

For about 45 minutes, we watched some of TVEAP’s recent productions including Children of the Tsunami and Digits4Change. Then we went to the swanky Water’s Edge for a divine meal. I tried 5 starters, 6 items for the main course, and 10 desserts. Divine! Yes, I am now on a diet. Chatted incessantly with Nalaka about politics, blogging, media, and religion. Also had a great time talking to the Fredksorpset representatives from Bangkok, Cherry and Serena, about education, conflict resolution, and changing the world. I finally went to bed at 11:00 pm having been up for 41 hours.

Day 2

The meeting started again at 9:00 am and went on till 7:30 pm. Exhausting! Through the day, über photographer/activist/hero Shahidul Alam’s heart protested at what it is put through on a daily basis and he had to keep going off to the hospital for all manner of tests. We were worried sick but Shahidul was not even vaguely concerned and was bothered only about his impending trip to Dar es Salam and the lack of a visa. After much harassment and bullying, he cancelled his trip and decided to go straight home to Dhaka for an angiogram. Having had my fill of rice and curry, I decided I was going off to the Gallery Cafe on Paradise Road for dinner. Nalaka, Manori (TVEAP), Shahidul, Chulie (World Bank) and I took off and we had a divine meal.

The Gallery Cafe used to be Geoffrey Bawa’s (Sri Lanka’s most prolific and influential architect) office and has been converted into a gorgeous studio, bar and cafe. Full of urns, stones, and trees, the place has the most wonderful energy and vibe. It’s contemporary and modern but so close to nature that it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I had crumbed oyster mushrooms followed by lemongrass and ginger chicken. I can’t describe the food without being hyperbolic. Insert all GenX/GenY awesome type words here.

Got back to the hotel and Chulie and I helped Shahidul pack. I got lots of schwag from Shahidul’s various conferences, including a red beret and a t-shirt that says, “Take Control, Edit Naked”. We chatted non-stop and saw him off at 11:30 pm. Straight to bed.

Day 3

I had great plans to go to the Barefoot Gallery and Odel on the third day as the meeting was to conclude the previous day. However, it didn’t. Shahidul had left at night so had to help Drik India and Bangladesh with their content editing, as well as compile the partnership agreement for Round 2 of the Exchange Programme. Desperate to escape from the hotel, Mashood and I ran off to the Gallery Cafe for lunch where we had superb ravioli with black olives and feta, to die for chocolate fondue with orange ice cream and amazing frozen strawberry margaritas. WOW, WOW, WOW. Came back to the meeting in no mood to work but had tons to do and finally finished at 5:30 pm. Nalaka had set up a meeting for me with a Sri Lankan web design firm’s CEO so I had to meet him at 6:30 pm while the rest of the group went off to the beach. Got done with that at 7:30 pm and was at a loose end. Guess where I ended up? Gallery Cafe! Ordered onion rings as a starter and between the time I ordered them and they came, I thought, how stupid I am, why waste money on stuff that’s available at home. Hmmm – when they arrived and I sank my teeth into the first one, I realized that there are onion rings and then there are ONION RINGS. Oooooh! Had a chilled gazpacho soup and char-grilled vegetable salad for dinner and took back a lemon meringue pie for dessert. Lovely! Got to the hotel, sent for a spoon, and watched The Untouchables after 15 years and savored each bite of the delicious pie.

Day 4

Got up at 7:00 am, showered, and ran out of Renuka hotel. Went to the Galle Face, an ancient colonial hotel, for breakfast and had croissants, three types of cheese, danish pastries, fresh pineapple, a cheese omelette, sausages, avocado juice, and strong espresso. Yes, I already said I was on a diet. Walked on the beach, watched children and dogs playing in the sand, took pictures, and generally had a leisurely time doing nothing in particular – am not used to anything less than a frenetic pace so it was a very novel experience.

Got to Odel at 10:00 am – bought a few things and just marvelled at how even the Sri Lankans “get it”. Will elaborate some other time. Those who “get it” know what I mean. After Odel, I went off to the Barefoot Gallery which was started by Barbara Sansoni in the mid 1960′s. It is a lovely space that showcases the work of local artists and sells gorgeously bright, cheerful, and funky coloured stuff. Sat under the trees and had a coffee milkshake, while it poured with rain. Bought a friendship band because I was missing my friend Yasmin who used to make fabulous bands for us at school. Came back to the hotel and started reading “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” by Mark Haddon. The narrator of this story is an autistic 15 year old who relaxes by groaning and doing math problems in his head. He eats red but not yellow or brown foods and screams when he is touched. When his neighbour’s poodle is murdered, he is falsely accused and decides that he will do some “detecting” and get to the bottom of the mystery, Sherlock Holmes style. Finished the book on the plane. A truly unique tale and a must-read. After finishing the book, I felt as if I’d lost my best friend so turned to my iPod for solace. Am really enjoying “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley these days, in addition to “Storm Warning” by Bob James & Hilary James. Guilty pleasure: “You Had a Bad Day”.

All round great trip even though 3 out of 4 days were spent locked inside the Renuka Hotel Conference Room. The next meeting is in Oslo, Norway.

Peace!